So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
