Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She needs sedatives and a leash
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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