Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
