We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
