Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
