im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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