Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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