you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
