Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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