I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
