The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
