Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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