she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
they're like a gay fantastic four
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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