i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My feet surprised me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
