Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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