Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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