never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
