i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
