Are we in a gay sports bar?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
