You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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