My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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