its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
