Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
