I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
