He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
