Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
