she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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