I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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