I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
