Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
