we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
