If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
