So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
