Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
