google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
