Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
