in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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