And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
