You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
