We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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