She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
