real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
