So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
