My nipple is on Facebook.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
