Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
