shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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