am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
