I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I will be naked everywhere
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
