covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
