We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
